Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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