I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
