Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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