I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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