I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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