Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
