There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
