May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
