I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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