So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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