Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
