i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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