I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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