...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
