so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I want her autograph on my taint
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
