who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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