Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
