i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
