I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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