East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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