After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
