Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
