i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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