I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
