This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
