she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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