weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize