Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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