I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
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We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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