He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
