Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
