I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
