Welp...herpes.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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