I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
