im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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