But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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