That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
