Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
