we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
