You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
that is very illegal...i love you.
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