I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When did angry sex become our thing?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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