So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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