Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
