sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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