Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
