My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
