have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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