I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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