So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
