im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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