Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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