dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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