Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
