I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
