PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
