I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
