I must be too annoying 4 u.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
