i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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