it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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