Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
