Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
