and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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