Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
