i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
